The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

 As soon as possible, I urge you to add the following number to your phone contacts, so you can access it quickly in an emergency: 800-273-TALK (8255).

This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It is manned 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, by people trained in crisis intervention.

It’s important to put this number in your phone now, before a crisis occurs, because in the midst of a crisis it’s often hard to think clearly. That’s not the time to be searching around, trying to find the number.

I also recommend that you visit the Suicide Prevention Lifeline website, where you will find a lot of information about helping someone in a suicidal crisis. This page is particularly helpful:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/ 

The time to educate yourself is now, before a crisis occurs. This "help someone else" page teaches you how to recognize a crisis, and gives tips on what to say and do (and not say and do) when someone is in a crisis.

The lifeline can help when:

• You are having thoughts of suicide yourself. They will listen to you, offer emotional support, assess your risk, and connect you with resources in your area.
• You are concerned about a friend or family member that you think may be contemplating suicide. The counselors can answer your questions and advise you about how to help your loved one.
• You are with someone who is thinking about suicide. Don't just give the person the number and leave. Stay with him or her and call the lifeline together. Help the person follow through with the counselor's advice. Do not leave the person alone until the crisis passes, unless your own safety is at risk.
• You need someone to talk to about your struggles, even if you're not thinking about suicide.

This page on the Lifeline website talks about who can benefit from the lifeline and what happens when you call:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

If you prefer to text or chat online with someone, there are also options for that. If you go to the Lifeline website (listed on the image below), you can chat confidentially with a counselor.

To text with a counselor, text HOME to 741741. You can also chat with a counselor from the crisis text line at https://www.crisistextline.org/

If you or the person you’re calling for is a veteran, call 1-800-273-8255 and press 1 to be connected to a counselor who is trained to understand the special needs of veterans. You can also text to 838255. To chat confidentially online, go to VeteransCrisisLine.net 

Finally, I recommend that you download the Suicide Prevention Lifeline wallet card to your phone. It is a PDF document, which lists the suicide warning signs, and can be found here:

https://store.samhsa.gov/product/National-Suicide-Prevention-Lifeline-Wallet-Card-Suicide-Prevention-Learn-the-Warning-Signs/SVP13-0126

Suicide Warning Signs

 There are many warning signs which may signal that someone is thinking about suicide. I will mention a few of them here, and I will post links to websites that list other warning signs.

I encourage you to commit these warning signs to memory. Print out the list and post it on your refrigerator, or put something in your phone that you can access in an emergency.

If someone starts talking about feeling hopeless or trapped, of being a burden to others or having no reason to live, they may be thinking about suicide. This may come up in a conversation, or you may encounter this kind of talk in a text message or a post on social media.

If someone starts talking about wanting to kill himself, you must take it seriously. Some people mistakenly believe that people who talk about killing themselves are just trying to get attention, but in many cases this kind of talk is a cry for help which should never be ignored.

There are also some behavioral signs to watch for: withdrawing from normal activities or from family and friends; sleeping too little or too much; giving things away; and searching online for suicide methods.

Another big warning sign is an increase in drug or alcohol use. This is important because drugs and alcohol lower a person’s inhibitions, including the natural instinct we’re all born with to preserve life.

Finally, there are some moods that may signal that someone is in crisis. These include: depression; anxiety; agitation; or irritability. Pay special attention to a sudden, dramatic change in someone’s mood, as this may indicate that a crisis is imminent.

For instance, if someone is usually very happy and outgoing, but suddenly becomes very depressed or withdrawn, this is cause for alarm. Also, if someone has been very depressed and suddenly seems very elated or relieved, act quickly! They may have a suicide plan in place and may be preparing to execute their plan. The source of their relief may be the belief that their pain will soon end.

A friend of mine once told me about a coworker who had seemed very depressed at work. One day he came to work in a much more positive mood, with no sign of depression. His coworkers were all happy to see this change, and they assumed he had worked out whatever had been bothering him. However, the next day they learned that the man had taken his life.

What they had perceived as happiness was actually a signal that the man had reached a decision and was relieved that he would no longer have to deal with his pain. If the coworkers had known about the warning signs for suicide and what to do in a suicidal crisis, they might have saved the man’s life.

This is why I’m so passionate about raising awareness about suicide and encouraging people to get trained in suicide prevention. The more people who are trained, the more lives we can save.

You don’t have to be a psychiatrist to help prevent suicide. You just have to care and know the steps to follow in a crisis. In my next few blogs, I’ll be sharing resources that will help you know what to do.

Sources for suicide warning signs:

https://www.sprc.org/about-suicide/warning-signs

https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs

Suicide Risk Factors

 One way of helping to prevent suicide is to educate yourself and others about the risk factors and warning signs of suicide. I will address the risk factors in this blog, and I will cover the warning signs in my next blog.

Suicide is a very complex issue, and there is no one thing that causes someone to take his life. Most suicides result from a sort of “perfect storm” of risk factors and circumstances that build on each other until the person can see no other way out than to kill himself.

There are three types of risk factors related to suicide: health-related factors, environmental factors, and historical factors.

One of the biggest health-related factors is mental illness, especially if it is untreated. The illnesses with the highest risk for suicide are depression, substance use disorders, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Chronic, painful illnesses can also increase the risk of suicide.

Environmental factors include access to lethal means (guns, prescription drugs, household chemicals, etc.); prolonged stress at work, home, or school; and exposure to another suicide in the family, at school, in the community, or in the news.

The biggest historical risk factor, as I said in my last blog, is a previous suicide attempt. Other historical risk factors include a family member’s suicide and a history of abuse, trauma, or neglect in childhood.

To prevent suicide, we must learn to identify and help mitigate these risk factors in a person’s life. There are many things we can do to help reduce the risk from these factors. These are called protective factors. To reduce the risk of suicide, we must work to reduce the risk factors and increase the protective factors.

For one, we can take the steps outlined in my earlier blogs to reduce the stigma of mental illness and to provide better access for mental health care. Also, the support of loved ones is critical when someone is feeling overwhelmed. People who are experiencing a crisis need to know that they’re not alone and that someone cares about them.

We can help others deal with stress by helping them to develop coping and problem-solving skills. It’s also important to limit access to lethal means, for someone who seems to be at high risk for suicide, by locking up things like guns, drugs, and chemicals.

Finally, we can help reduce the effects of historical factors by encouraging people to seek counseling for their trauma or abuse.

To learn more about risk factors, protective factors, and warning signs, see this page on the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s website: https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs

A Silent Epidemic

 The steady increase in suicides between 1999 and 2018 led many to call this phenomenon a "silent epidemic." According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), the age-adjusted suicide rate in this country increased by 35.2% in 19 years, from 10.5 deaths per 100,000 in 1999 to 14.2 per 100,000 in 2018. The rate declined slightly in 2019 to 13.9 per 100,000, but it's too early to tell whether this is a true downward shift.

There were over 47,500 deaths by suicide in this country in 2019, making it the tenth leading cause of death in the United States and the second leading cause of death for individuals between the ages of 10 and 34. An even more disturbing figure is the number of suicide attempts.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), for every death by suicide in 2019 there were as many as 29 attempts, totaling about 1.4 million attempts in 2019 alone. This doesn't even take into account the millions of Americans who thought seriously of suicide or made a suicide plan without following through. These figures are especially troubling because one of the biggest risk factors for death by suicide is a previous suicide attempt.

Given these figures, I think it's clear that suicide is a problem in our society. What, you may ask, can I do about it? That will be the subject of my next few blogs.

Sources for this blog:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/index.html

The "Week from Hell"

 Imagine, if you will, that you are having a really bad week. On Monday, a very dear friend was diagnosed with a terminal illness. On Tuesday, your teenage son got in trouble at school and was suspended. On Wednesday, you had a blowout on the highway, at rush hour, on your way home from work. On Thursday, your air conditioning unit at your house gave out and it’s August in Texas! Finally, to top off the week, on Friday, you got laid off at work!

That’s quite a week, isn’t it? How do you think you’d feel by the end of this week?

I recently had a couple of weeks like this, and I can tell you how I felt. My stomach was in knots, and I felt like I was carrying about 30 extra pounds on my shoulders. My head felt like it was going to explode, I had trouble concentrating, and I had very little motivation or energy. Can any of you relate to the feelings I’ve described?

These feelings were brought on by a number of very stressful events in my life. Imagine, though, that you experienced these feelings of anxiety and stress, of being crushed under the weight of your problems, but no stressful events had occurred.

Imagine that same level of stress and feeling overwhelmed was caused, not by big problems, but by the little everyday things that most of us take for granted: things like getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, showering, or driving to work. This is what it’s like for people with major depression, a serious mental illness that affected over 19 million adults in the United States alone in 2019.

People with chronic depression are often told to “think positive thoughts” or “just snap out of it.” Unfortunately, these well-intentioned suggestions only add to their pain. They’d like nothing more than to “just snap out of it,” but they can’t.

Perhaps you have a family member who sleeps all the time or a neighbor who can’t seem to hold down a job. Rather than judging the person as lazy or weak, try reaching out to him and asking if everything is okay or if there’s anything you can do to help. If you’re tempted to tell this person to “just snap out of it,” remember this scenario of “the week from hell.” Think about how you would feel, and offer a listening ear rather than judgment or advice.

Source for statistics on depression: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression

Take Action

 

The third step in the NAMI StigmaFree campaign is to take action to help create a better future for those with mental illness. You may think, “I’m only one person, and mental illness is a huge problem. How can just one person make a difference?”

The task may seem daunting, but there are actually many things you can do to advocate for those with mental illness. These are some things I have done:

• Supported my love ones who struggle, and made sure their questions were answered and their needs were met
• Volunteered with my local support group to help raise awareness in the community, by sharing resources at local health fairs and seminars
• Financially supported local and national mental health organizations
• Gently corrected others who used language that perpetuates stigma
• Lent a listening ear to people who were struggling and needed someone to talk to
• Participated in awareness walks. My favorite walk is the Out of the Darkness Walk, which raises funds for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
• Started this blog as a way of raising awareness and educating others

Read this blog from NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) about what it means to be a mental health advocate: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2020/What-Does-It-Mean-to-Be-a-Mental-Health-Advocate

For more ideas on how to take action, see this resource from NAMI: https://www.nami.org/Advocacy/Advocate-for-Change

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"Watch Your Language!"

 “Watch your language, young man [or young lady]!” Did your mother ever scold you with these words after hearing you utter an expletive or speak disrespectfully? This was her way of reminding you, very emphatically, that this kind of language was inappropriate and that you needed to be careful of the words coming from your mouth. This exhortation would be a good thing for each of us to remember when talking about mental health, mental illness, or suicide.

A few months ago I live streamed a Mass for the feast of St. Dymphna, who is the patron saint of those who struggle with their mental health. The priest, Fr. Charlie, addressed the issue of language in his excellent homily.

Fr. Charlie said that oftentimes when he speaks to someone who has a diagnosed mental illness, they will say things like, “I am bipolar,” or “I am psychotic.” This is the way our society tends to speak about people with a particular illness, so those who are sick will often begin to identify themselves by their illness.

When Fr. Charlie speaks to these people, he stresses that they are not their illness and that they should not define themselves that way. He says that God desires to free them from this identity lie, so he has them pray over and over again, “I am a beloved [son/daughter] of God.” That’s how God sees them, and that’s how we should see them too.

When you speak about someone who has a diagnosed mental illness, it’s best to say, “John has bipolar disorder,” or “Mary has episodes of psychosis,” rather than, “John is bipolar,” or “Mary is psychotic.” Their diagnosis is just one small part of who they are, so don’t identify them by their illness. After all, if you had cancer, would you want someone focusing on your illness?

Another language problem in our society has to do with suicide. When someone dies by suicide, you will most often hear that they “committed” suicide. Think, though, about the word, “committed.” It’s a word that is often associated with evil things, like committing a crime or committing a sin.

 If you say that someone “committed” suicide, therefore, the implication may be that they did something evil or were themselves evil. The truth, however, is that their death may have been the result of mental illness, an illness which can be just as deadly as cancer or heart disease. It is best, therefore, to say that someone “died by” suicide, just as you might say that someone died by cancer.

Also, when someone survives a suicide attempt, their survival is often referred to as a “failed” suicide, implying that their survival was not a good thing. In the same way, saying that someone succeeded at suicide implies that it was a good thing. Therefore, when talking about suicide, it’s best to say that someone attempted suicide if they survived or died by suicide if they didn’t.

These are just a few examples of the labels that might cause a person with mental illness to hide his struggle. If we all work together, though, we can help to end the stigma associated with mental illness. The next time you’re tempted to use one of these labels, remember your mother, and watch your language!

Help Me End the Stigma

 

In 2019 over 50 million adults, over the age of 18, experienced some mental illness in the United States. That was equivalent to 1 in 5 adults. Of those, over 13 million (1 in 20) experienced a serious mental illness which led to severe impairment in certain daily activities. In 2016 nearly 8 million youths, aged 6-17 experienced a mental health disorder.

Of all those American adults who experienced a mental illness in 2019, it is estimated that less than 45% received treatment for their illness. For males, the rate of treatment was only 36.8%.

There are many factors which can affect the treatment rate for mental illness, such as lack of insurance and a shortage of mental health professionals, but one of the greatest reasons for lack of treatment is the stigma associated with mental illness. Stigma can lead to labeling and stereotyping, which causes many people to remain silent about their mental health struggles.

Have you ever used derogatory terms like “crazy,” “psycho,” or “wacko” to describe someone? How do you think you would feel if someone called you “psycho”? To avoid being labeled in this way, many people keep their struggles hidden, which is unfortunate, because the sooner someone gets help the better the prognosis for recovery.

Also, mental illness is often perceived as a character flaw or a sign of weakness. This kind of stereotyping might explain the lower treatment rate for men, since men are often expected to be “strong” and not show their emotions or struggles.

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, launched a campaign several years ago which aims to reduce the stigma associated with mental illness. This StigmaFree campaign outlines 3 steps we can all take to help end this problem:

• ·         Educate yourself and others about mental illness
• ·         See the person, not the condition
• ·         Take action

I will address each of these steps in future blogs. Given that about 1 in 5 adults experiences a mental health disorder each year, it’s likely that you or someone you love will be affected by mental illness. Wouldn’t it be prudent, then, for you to find out as much as you can about mental illness and how you can help?

You can start by taking the NAMI StigmaFree Pledge here:

https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Pledge-to-Be-StigmaFree

You’ve already started working on the first step by reading this blog to educate yourself. Continue to follow my blog and share it with others to fulfill the second goal of step 1: educate others.

Source for statistics above: https://www.nami.org/mhstats

My Story

 For most of my life I have struggled with mild depression and especially anxiety, but never to the point that I’ve been disabled with it. My depression mostly causes a lack of motivation at times, and my anxiety sometimes makes it hard to concentrate and tends to raise my blood pressure.

 Over the years my primary care doctors have raised the possibility of medication for my anxiety, but I usually refused. About ten years ago, though, I decided to try a low-dose anti-anxiety med, and it seems to have helped.

Until I was in my thirties or forties I knew very little about mental illness. My idea of depression was a feeling of sadness, usually associated with some disappointment or loss, like failing a test or losing a friend or family member to cancer.

That all changed, though, when my husband confided in me that he had struggled with depression and anxiety since high school. I think we had been married about 10 years by that time, but I had had no clue about his struggles. I found it hard to understand what he was going through, and I had no idea how to help him.

From that point on, I made it my mission to find out all I could about mental illness and how to help someone who is struggling. I researched online; I read books; I joined several support groups; I attended seminars; and I got trained in Mental Health First Aid.

In this blog I hope to share some of the “wisdom” I’ve gained over the years through my research. I will state right now that I am no expert. I am just someone who is passionate about mental health. My goal is to help spread awareness, to do whatever I can to make a difference in the lives of those who struggle, and to encourage others to do the same.

You can help me with this mission by following and sharing this blog and by doing your own research. In future blogs I’ll be posting links to various websites that have helpful information about mental health. If we all work together, we can make a difference.